After MM, Employers Report Surge in Imaginary Letters of
Recommendation
Posted on Monday, July 14,
2008
Topic: Local
News 
by Chicken Little and Michael Bloombird
After it was confirmed that contrary to M&M Lee’s testimony in
court, the International Bar Association had never sent any letter
praising Singapore’s judicial system, Singaporean employers have
reported a surge in the number of people submitting imaginary
letters of recommendation.
“I got people attaching testimonials from Bill Gates lah, Gandhi
lah, Mother Teresa, all,” said Miss Annie Howe, human resource
manager of investment bank Oldman Sechs. “Also got people
submitting endorsements from the Nobel Committee, the UN, Berkshire
Hathaway, the Vatican, even the Shaolin Temple.”
“Yah,” agreed Mr. Sisuah Lai, a spokesman for French headhunting
firm Guy Lottine. “And when we ask them whether these letters were
fake, nobody denies it. They just shrug and say, ‘If M&M can
say he got a letter of praise but acherly dun have, then we all
also can, mah. We all must follow him, what!’”
“I don’t think it’s wrong,” said recent NUS engineering graduate
Fay Kheng. “I mean, fakery is an integral part of Singapore
culture. Our country’s name comes from a fella who imagined he saw
a lion when lions don’t exist in this part of the world, and his
underlings were probably too scared to tell him the truth. So it’s
only logical that today, we live in an imaginary democracy, our
news coverage is practically fiction, our leaders justify their
salaries based on fairy tales, and our policies come from la-la
land. Now some politicians are even putting out conspiracy theories
about other countries being out to get us. You know, if you want to
make it in Singapore, you just have to say whatever it
takes.”
“Anyway, employers always say they want to hire people with
imagination, what,” added Mr. Chao Yeow Yee, who recently received
his M.B.S. from the University of Erewhon. “My letters are damn
imaginative, man!”
M&M Lee apparently testified during his case against opposition
politician Dr Chee Don Juan that the IBA had written a letter
saying how powderful Singapore’s legal system is. As it turns out,
there was no such letter. The IBA President had praised Singapore
in a speech during a conference, but then, the IBA also went to
tekan Singapore in a recent report, questioning our freedom
of speech and how independent our judges are.
The Gahmen, however, believes there is a simple explanation for the
conflict. According to Mr. See Koh Fern of the Minister Dementor’s
Office, “How come the IBA can say one thing at one time, and say
another thing at another time? Easy, they’re lawyers!”
